sick to the n'th level

I am so sick. I feel feverish and may hard cough and colds pa :( wawa nman ako.
then I saw traces of blood after a long series of coughing and so now I'm freaking out. pagod na lalamunan ko may gasgas na. huhu the singer in me is officially scared now. :(

Lazy Pia

Today is a monday.

I am not in the mood yet again for the nth time this month. I don't know if its lack of motivation or if I lost my will to write or (for a more imaginative reason)someone stole my writing skills. That's why even if I have lots of things in my mind or I have a lot of pent up emotions I still don't know how to start.

I am never not inspired. I am part of a concert where I get to sing my heart out. I am very well loved of course by Rommel and my family, I have good friends, (guys sorry if we're not seeing each other lately because my social life was sacrificed for the outreach/concert/fund raising that we're doing. whew! my happy hours were devoted for a noble cause), I am trying to have a small business partnering with my mama in selling victoria secrets and nivea lotions and olay products and many many many more others. :)

so why the hell did my writing skills turn rusty?

Or maybe its just a bad case of laziness. Thank you God for Holidays, and please let the days of the week pass by a blur and let it be weekend once again.

Had a happy time last weekend.

HP!

entering my 26th year

:) nakalipas nnman ang isang taon.

I can't believe my silver year is nearing its end and I'm off to a new start. Its been a colorful year but mostly dark as well. Experienced death and loss, and many other types of struggles

Birthday wish list :)

1. White Icing cake - a staple
2. New Work (Lord, this is all I ask kaw na po ang bahala sa akin)

I'm in need of change

maybe I could start by changing small things

so here's a new look for my blog
a fresh change in color and layout - thanks aia for the idea ;)

from NEna... maiba lang

drunk dials.
The phone rings. What is your ring tone?
** depends upon the caller but usually its Forever by Damage, the for anybody tone however is One Piece OBB
.
2. Did you go anywhere yesterday?
** San jUan de Dios Hospital and SM Manila aside from the office ofcourse
.
3. Who was the last person you shared beds with?
** Leia
.
4. Favorite drink?
** Milo
.
5. Does the person you like know that you like him/her?
** Yes
.
6. Last time you talked to your mom?
** This morning
.
7. Where are you right now?
** office
9. Favorite gadget in the kitchen?
** ahm actually nothing in particular
.
10. Favorite pie?
** peach mango hihi jabee
.
11. How is your hair?
** curly
.
12. Where's the last place you walked to?
** lamayan
.
13. Last song you listened?
**
. Christmas in our hearts by my officemates
14. Who is the last person you held hands with?
** Rommel
.
15. What are you doing?
** answering this survey and writing an article for the office
.
16. Have you been in a car accident?
** Nope
.
17. What is the last thing you said aloud?
** Ay
.
18. Who's the 1st person on your missed calls list?
** ROmmel
.
19. What was the last text message you received say?
** "Magsapin ka sa likod ah :) from rommel
.
21. Story behind your MYSPACE song?
** wala akong song sa Myspace eh
.
22. What's bothering you right now?
** I'm in need of change
.
DESCRIBE YOUR:
23.Wallet?
** pink and long
.
24.Cellphone?
** both slide phones and both a gift from Rommel
.
25.Life?
** is catharsis
.
WHAT ARE YOU:
26.Doing this weekend to come?
** will get ready for my trip to Bohol
.
27.Wearing?
** marroon trench coat
.
28.Wanting?
** ahmmm
.
29.Listening to?
** sound of my keyboard while i'm typing
.
30.What do you smell?
** forever mine by johnsons and johnsons hehe
.
31.Do you sleep naked?
** nope
.
32.Do you like seafood?
** sana but seafoods dont like me "i hate allergies"
.
33.Do you remember your dreams?
** yes
.
34.Do you consider yourself a study freak?
** ahmm sometimes
.
35.Do you speak another language other than English?
** tagalog and trying to study japanese
.
36.What did you do last night?
** sing for the dead, see the doctor and replaced my shoes
.
37.What do you hate?
** cough and colds
.
38.Orange or apple juice?
** orange
.
39.Who were the last people you went out to lunch with?
** LAy, Aia, Denise and Apol
.
40.last thing you ate?
** PikNIk Ketchup fries

Region 12 and Subic

I enjoyed the month of August because I had a chance to travel to exciting local destinations such as Davao, General Santos City, Saranggani and Sultan Kudarat in Mindanao and Subic in Zambales :)

Even met with prominent officials such as the legend Manny Pacquiao in his mansion (ang saya!). Not all people is given this kind of opportunity so I want to thank the Lord for blessing me this much :)

I loved the freshness of the fishes and the fruits served in Region12 especially in GenSan :) and the picturesque views around me is just WOW! one of the best is the GenSan airport because of the views of the mountains that made it look like a painting :)

Thank You IFEX Philippines for taking me to Region 12 :)

and my favorite experience is posing with a Dolphin at the Ocean Adventure in Subic during our Eco-Tourism tour for PINES.

Really one of the best things in my life is being able to travel and visit various places in the country.

I can't write anything

:(

what's happening to me?

Who are my Nakama?

Cried like hell last night.
you may not believe it but its luffy and the gang who made me shed buckets of tears.

One piece is really a deep story of friendship and love, beyond the journey, adventures and all those fighting is a deep rooted love and care for a nakama. They eat together, sail together, go strong together and they will fight to the finish for the welfare of each other.

then, it made me wonder, how about me? Who are my nakama? I thought of all my closest friends but I am not sure who can be classified as such. :( I don't even know what the word "best" in terms of friendship really means.

a sad farewell

Reading Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold assisted me in easing some of the pain brought by the death of my two grandmothers and I hope that by writing this post I can share my painful experience and like the characters in the novel, I can learn how to let go.

It's been almost two weeks since we started traveling to and from Trece Martirez Cavite, to visit and see the deterioting condition of my lola Nena, (tatay's mom). A week before that she was already hospitalized, I wasnt able to visit because she was confined while FAME and IFEX was ongoing. But through the doctor's explanation, and how my family see her, we already know that she will leave us soon. Atleast we are somewhat prepared.

During our town Fiesta, May 12, 2010 Lola Trining (Mama's mom) is our VIP visitor. She ate the food that I cooked, attended the mass together and we went to Jolibee to eat fries and mango pies. We were so happy as we tour around Sta. Ana, her hometown. I am pushing her wheelchair while sharing stories with her and my cousins. While we were enjoying ourselves I receives text messages from my parents that my Tito Nestor (mama's brother) will be picking up my Lola, tita susan, sienna and Hailee so they can all go home in Las Pinas. But we were enjoying ourselves so much that we didn't hurry. My tito left my Lola and Tita Susan's family because he was in a hurry :( that left them no option but to ride a taxi home. I hailed the cab for them and made sure that the driver is nice and willing so my lola will have a safe trip back to her house. Never did I know that it will be my last bonding with my Lola, that it will be the very last time I will see her smile.

May 15 and 16: weekend we were in Cavite to be with Lola Nena.

May 17, Monday 10pm: Rommel and I followed my family Trece Martirez Cavite, because Lola Nena is very sick and weak, we sang and prayed for her. we went home around 4am.

May18, Tuesday: Halfday in the office because I am very tired and sleepy.

May 19 Wednesday, we went back to Cavite with the choir to pray and sing for Lola Nena

May 20 Thursday, Hafday again. I am also sick maybe because of fatigue. but around 4pm my cousins called to inform me that Lola Trining was rushed to the hospital, she was weak and she suddenly refused to eat. :( By 5pm they called again telling me that my Lola was transferred in the Intensive Care Unit. Rommel and I went to Imus Cavite Our Lady of Pillar Hospital to see my Lola Trining. I cried in seeing her so weak with only tubes and machines supporting her :( My parents followed us in the hospital. My mother was crying with me, the doctor is there but she can't bring herself to discuss the situation with the doctor so I have to be strong and assist her, the doctor informed me that my Lola is in a very bad state. No blood pressure and there are obvious discoloration in her hands and feet. We left the hospital around 10pm because the nurse won't let us in since visiting hours id already over. My mother and I prayed and believed that likle the first time she will be ok. She will get better. we were home by 12am. i dozed off quickly due to fatigue.

May 21, 2010 Friday 5am: me and my sisters were awakened by my crying mother. "Naghihingalo na si lola nena" so we packed some things and travelled to TMC again. on our way to Cavite, I tried to sleep and to rest my mind and body but Sienna is texting me that Lola Trining is so weak and still no sign of BP. that according to the doctor there might be no chance of her surviving. I almost broke down but I composed myself thinking that I can't announce what is happening for conflict may arise on where we must go first, I also know that my mother can't handle this much pain so I handled it alone first. I informed Sienna that I will go to Imus as soon as I checked my Lola Nena in Trece. I prayed again and trusted that Lola Trining by some miracle will still get better.

In TMC, we all cried while praying for the soul of my Lola Nena, her pupils are already dilated and we know that its only a matter of time before she leave us. My mother hugged her begging not to take Lola Trining yet. I received another phone call this time its from my tita Liane mama's closest sister she cried on my ear telling me that Lola Trining is now brain dead and that my tito Nestor and his wife wants the plug to be pulled down. I cried yet again and I firmly asked them not to, I want my Lola to die a natural death not by Euthanasia, I requested if they can wait for me and my mother, we want to see her one last time. I have no choice but to tell my mother what is happening in the other side of the family, but when I announced that Lola Trining is already brain dead, my mother collapsed in pain. she lost her consciousness. I was crying so hard asking for forgiveness to my father but we need to hurry or we might not see my Lola Trining even with a little life again.

Minutes after we left TMC to head to Imus, my sisters called me, they were left in TMC for my Lola Nena, they told me that after we go, at 9:55 Lola Nena breathe her last. I asked them not to move the body, I want to hug her and I want my father to see her one last time before embalming. Again they asked me not to say it to my parents first for they might not take it anymore. Again I have to carry the burden alone. I was crying so hard, I am even mad at the driver for being so slow and for passing all those traffic routes. AGAIN minutes before we arrive in Imus, at 10:55 my Lola Trining died.

It was like I was trapped in limbo while all my Lola's, my second mothers are dying, I wasnt even able to see them as they draw their last breath. This time I broke down, I was shouting and crying asking them why didn't they wait for me. and Im sorry Lola's but I was crying so hard at that time telling you that I can't accept it yet. The pain is overwhelming, the hurt is more than what I can handle. If this is this painful for me, how much more for my parents? after some short discussions on where Lola Trining's wake and interment will be, we went back to TMC for Lola Nena's remains.

We travelled back and forth to pray and sing for my Lola's. Lola Nena was in TMC Sepacio Valdez funeral homes, while Lola trining is in Holy Trinity Parañaque. amidst physical and emotional pain we performed our duties of sending them to heaven through our prayers and songs. Lola Trining was buried beside Lolo Nick in Manila Memorial Parañaque, that was sunday May 23, exactly 6 months after her husband's (lolo Nick's) death. while Lola Nena was cremated at the Chinese Cemetery like what we did for LOlo taba 4 years ago.

Farewell Lola Trining... Farewell Lola Nena...

I will never forget you, I will always love you!

Lola Ining, Please

A week ago my heart goes only for Lola Nena (my father's mom) now I am also worrying about you, Lola Trining (mama's mom). you've escaped death once and managed to be healthy though we almost lose hope. Please Please extend your stay once more.

Lola's can't bear losing you both, please!

Please!

Lola, I hate to see you in pain

You've always been a fighter :) because of the calm nature of +Lolo Taba, you became our gladiator. You even have weapons that are known only to the lucky ones :)

but now, to see you suffering like that is hard for us. You've done a great job in taking care of your daughters and sons and maybe even better for your grandchildren, now I pray for whatevers best for you. I'll miss you, and will definitely never forget you. I love you Lola Nena.

addicted to Luffy!

It's been more than a month since I started spending my nights with Luffy :)

After Rommel pick me up from the office we stay in their place and indulge ourselves by watching One Piece.

One piece is rommel's favorite anime and recently I started to share his fondness. I am now inlove with Luffy, Zorro, Sanji, Robin, Chopper, Ussop, Nami, Niko Robin and the Going Merry. :)A band of pirates that is fueled by their dreams. Along their adventures they meet new nakama (friends/comrades)and save people who are terrorized by evil pirates.

More than being an action-packed anime, One Piece gives moral lessons in subliminal ways, every character is filled with inspiring stories that imparts a special meaning if you'll pay attention with every details. Glad to share this hobby with Rommel, atleast we both escape reality and enjoy a magical life even for a short time :)

politics and opinions

Well, its a relief that the people didn't have to store food and goods in their homes in case chaos arise after the 2010 elections. Generally, the elections was ok, we were able to pull off this 1st time automated elections, although because of incompetence, geographical problems, negligence, election violence and other factors the elections was still not successful. :(

For one, How can people wish to change the country if:
1. the same people were still given a spot in the government, like Ramon Bong Revilla, who opted to change his surname to target voters who choose popular names. It's absurd to bank on ballot positioning rather than be confident that he will win because of what he had done for the people as a senator, if there is one :( What do we call his politician wife now Congresswoman Lani Bong Revilla? or his surname differs from his family now? quite ridiculous huh!
2. How will the ring announcer call Manny Pacquiao if he fights again as our boxing champ? "Pound for Pound Champion Congressman Maaaannnnyyyy Pacman Pacquuuiiaaaooo, will he take a leave everytime he will train and fight?
3. The president is now a congresswoman need I say more?

whoever said that Filipinos are now intelligent voters?

food writer

It's been a while since I've last written something here, and the thought that I am blogging now signifies that I am no longer tied up to work and other things. :)

I just finished IFEX Philippines, the country's premier event for exciting food options was held at the World Trade Center Metro Manila in Pasay last 6-8 of May. lots of delectable food ideas was showcased and sampled in this comprehensive trade fair for food. I was assigned to write all the collaterals and to head the media work for both IFEX 2009 and 2010 along with its international food fair stints but maybe I will be saying goodbye to the food industry for MAYBE i'll be assigned to a new industry soon.

I am a food writer for CITEM for almost a year and a half, it was fun, satisfying and I will definitely miss writing delish pieces for food.

Going to Bohol :)

e-ticket and e-receipt already received. I am getting ready for a trip to Bohol with Rommel and hopefully some of our friends :)

Happy etneb trip :)

I feel blessed :)

Just got back from a 2-day recollection held in Angels Hills Tagaytay :)

Our retreat masters Fr. Erwin and Kuya Ding were both a blessing from God for giving us fresh insights and to develop a much deeper love for God.

I am really blessed for feeling the presence of the Lord with my family and Rommel. Not everybody is given the opportunity to grow with the Lord beside family members and loved ones and this is enough for me to really believe that God loves in ways i don't always fathom.

Thank you Lord. :)
I love you.

wherever you go... go with all your heart

those were the only words of Mr. Jun Lana in his blog that still left me pondering about my own situation. If I were to paraphrase it and apply it on myself it will go like this -

If I stay in one place... I must stay with all my heart.

I don't even known if a fraction of my heart is in here so Can anybody show me the right way out?

:)

as long as I have my family and etneb I am ready to endure.
as long as my true friends are with me I will be happy.
a hard life doesn't matter as long as I have them everything will suffice. :)

I know U're just there :)

Lord, You are in control of my life, let Your will be done.

I see you :)

buti nalang I did not fail to watch Avatar :) thanks Apol for recommending it:)

days after I watched it may hang over pa din ako, the idea was fantastic and the execution is superb kahit na ang weird na human ang invader this time it still reflects reality b'coz what is it that people can't do for money?

It's a nice movie and I hope although it might be a an impossible dream for now, hope FIlipinos can reach the same level of movie excellence.

I must say that its not just a movie to watch but an experience not to miss. :)

I'm afraid

but I know God is with me. My strength is in my faith.